Pressures

Right now some things are going on around me. Things to create pressure- to try to reveal to me things that are in my heart. Temptations to rely on my own strength, own worldly wisdom (or stupidity)- and boy can it be hard to quieten down the dialogue of wanting to fight back, to seek revenge or to counteract the things that get thrown my way.
It's a test on my leadership- I know this, because 'yes' my resolve to lead in the way I know I should, in the way He has called me to- has been sorely tested in these past few weeks. I can feel myself at the edge sometimes, and I've crossed over to where I didn't want to go- a couple of times.
The things I struggle with...listening to complaining and fuelling this by my silence or a few times, adding to it with my own 'natural' thinking= instead of coming to it from a Godly perspective. Also- knowing that God is knocking on the door of my heart, reminding me of who I am to be in Him- why I am there, and what I have been called to do.
God I am ashamed to admit that I have fallen short of your expectations.
How do I stop this?

Come to Me
Step back and take yourself out of the whirlwind
You are to effect change, not be impacted by the changes or forces that are not of Me
I have called you to be a Godly leader
Not a wordly one
You are mine
I shall have my way in you
But you must first submit yourself to me

Your legacy

To love others
To lead with love
To show people who I am through you
To do what is right
In My eyes
To show others My purpose that I have planted in each and everyone of them
And how that colours our world

What does it mean to be a Godly leader?

• Appointed by God Himself
•  Purposed, destined, called
• Does what is right, not to be right
• Kingdom focused
• Loving
• An example of God Himself
• Reliant on the Holy Spirit for guidance
• Submissive to the Will of God
• Cares more about changing hearts than burning down ‘temples’
• Eternity focused
•  Obedient
• Humble in spirit
• Not self seeking

Love:

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Daniel           Faithful

Moses            Obedient

Timothy         Servant heart, humble

Paul                Committed

Jesus              Loving

Joseph          Honouring

Solomon       Wise, discerning heart

David             Passionate, Worshiper 

God I pray that you will find these qualities, traits...in me. Forgive me for being me focused, and not YOU/ others focused.

Amen:)

Don't say it's over- Overcome

I haven't written a blog for ages- not one where I just write straight on. I suppose that's what blogging is about- or is that blabbing, on and on. I don't really want my blog to be about that. But here I am, maybe this will be a blab session.
Anyway- the word Overwhelm keeps entering my mind.
I guess right now I feel overwhelmed with what life is presenting- or maybe it's my perception, and I'm so into the depths of being overcome by it all, that I can't see things rationally.
When I write: overwhelmed, I immediately think- therefore I must overcome.
Just as I wrote that I heard- 'No, it is I that will overcome'.
When I am in the midst of this storm-  feeling overwhelmed
He will overcome anything that threatens to harm me, destroy me, take me out
God has promised He will never leave me nor forsake me
His plans for me, are for good and not for evil
To give me a future and a hope
God loves me so much that He is willing to lay down His life for me
He already has
It is finished
So that my life, new life, can begin in Him
This battle, this overwhelming feeling, things, piling on top of me
Only He can overcome this- but first I must surrender

God reminded me last night that I am His beloved
If I am to be His beloved, then I must learn to 'be loved'
To openly, willingly, lovingly receive His love for me
Nothing attached, no price to pay= just to love Him too
My problem, probably like yours
Is my own WILLingness
To lay down what I naively hold dear
And to take Him, His hand, and hold this as though (no because), my life depends on it, on Him.

Overcome- I can be overcome, or I can overcome
Life can happen to me, or I can happen to life
It's a choice made available to me, allowed by Him
God cheers me on
He knows I can do all things through Him who strengthens me
I won't be overcome, I will overcome
He can't be overcome, His is the overcomer
And He will overcome!
Amen

There it comes again, that saying:
"You choose the life you live"- I choose life.

Escape Poem- recrafted

When I run away

Escape

I come to this place

Of safety

Where these words

They call out to me

Come

Sit with us

Talk with us awhile

Lets make something of this

And then

Before you know it

I’ve forgotten what I left behind

Taken up with them

Listened and heard

Lines

Words

Phrases

They’ve spelt out

What I myself 

Could not have read

Or written-for that matter

Poems

I cleaned up my desktop today. Discovered a few poems I've written so far this year. Hadn't realised I'd been inspired a few times to do this...hmmm something for me to think about.

Fear and Love

Both of these things can drive you

Fear says you are not enough

Love says I am more than enough

Fear says you are unable to do it

Love reminds you, you are enabled by love.

I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

Fear says bad things will happen, hard times will come.

Love says bad things will happen, hard times will come, BUT none of these things can overpower the LOVE of God for you and in you. LOVE NEVER FAILS: LOVE OVERCOMES.

Fear is deficit thinking- points out inadequacies.

Love is abundance thinking- knows no bounds, is endless, limitless.

Fear of failure.

LOVE NEVER FAILS. Love focuses on what is right, the heart of the matter.

2 Tim 1

Paul is encouraging Timothy to remember his heritage of faith, passed down from his faithful grandmother and mother…

“Fan into flame the gift of God which is in you…For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of POWER, of LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND [SELF DISCIPLINE]”

Escape Poem

When I run away

Escape

I come to this place

Of safety

Where these words

They call out to me

Come

Sit with us

Talk with us awhile

Lets make something of this

And then

Before you know it

I’ve forgotten what I left behind

Taken up with them

Listened and heard

Lines

Words

Phrases

They’ve spelt out

What could not have read

In myself

(I'm not quite sure if this poem is finished yet... might get back to it)

Surprises

You ask me, “What was my biggest one?”

I think and tell you what you know already

It’s true, all the planning

Preparation and anticipation

The look on your face

That was it.

But when I think on it again

Your question…surprises.

It’s the little things

That take me there, breathless

The fairy lights you bought

Thousands of them

Hung in the tree in our front yard

Just because

I’d said, how one day I wanted

Mine to be like that

And how you set it up outside

My bedroom, so that each night

In those hot summer months

There they’d be, twinkling away.

Or the poems you’ve written me

Over the years

When I’d come home

Wondering what kind of mood you’d be in

Only to find, that all day you’ve written

And rewritten, crafted to perfection

Your heart words spoken just for me.

It’s not so much the big surprises

(although I love these too).

It’s just the fact that you listen

With your eyes and your heart

To the real me

And then you take time to consider

And to respond- in love

I know I shouldn’t be,

But it always takes me by surprise

Just how much I then realise

You love me, and I you.

For my Malcolm

Love you, Pato 

Distractions

I’m all adrift on this ocean of distraction

I want to reach the shore

Just not the one I started out from

But here I go as though I don’t have a rudder

As though I’m being tossed ever so violently

Against my will

Yet I know this to be true

It’s me that’s taken over control

I might not be steering this anywhere fast

Anywhere soon

But I have the choice

To take up that direction

To aim it to where He has shown me to go

To persevere because it’s there where my promise lies

Waiting, destined, ready

And here I sit, waiting, maybe to be hit by the wave of fate, unaware

Overboard and overwhelmed

BUT fear not! … He has reminded me

All you have to do is cry out to Me

To ask Me anything in His name

And, I, Yes it is I, who will come to you.

I will fill your sails with my breath

I will guide you safely

To where I will be waiting for you

Final destination. 

My home

Is with Him

Just ask

Last week I had this meeting that I was unsure of how it would go. I had to guide a team through some strategic planning. It's always an unknown when you're working with a group of people who may have varying ideas. Before I went to the meeting, I had a prayer walk early that morning. I was asking God for His help. I was especially asking him to show me in His word if there was anything that might help me. He gave me Ephesians Chapter 32 to look up. I found in Eph 32:8 "A noble man makes noble plans and by noble deeds he stands". He reminded me to look beyond myself and remember who I am doing this for- firstly for Him and then for His people. It helped me to know that God was so direct in His word to me about this specific request/ situation. It reminded me that I am noble- through Him. I am of noble stock! Therefore I can make noble plans, and when I undertake noble deeds, I can stand. Yes- I can stand against the attacks of the enemy. I can take a stand for the Lord. I can stand in the position where he has placed me. I can stand.
Lord- thank you again that you answer my prayers. You never leave me nor forsake me. Thank you that you reminded me to believe in the plans I was helping to shape- because You authorised me to do that. You also showed me to go ahead and keep doing good deeds- to be a blessing to others. And lastly, you reminded me not to be anxious for anything. If I need help, just come to you. Just ask!

It’s just easier

Poem I wrote the other night, thinking about what happens when someone disconnects because they can't face their own pain, and over time, the difficulty that happens when reconnection is wanted...but is not always as easy as 'picking up where we left off'...

It’s just easier

It’s easier to be angry at you

To hold you at arms [or more] length

To distance myself

From you

To not allow myself to get close

Or any closer

For doing that would mean

I would be close enough

To feel your pain

To know what it must be like for you

The rawness of it

I’m in protection mode

Don’t want to go there

And wonder if I can ever come back

Unchanged

Yet, when I step further back

As I imagine what it is like

Coming closer

I can see and feel

That, my retreating

Hasn’t totally closed me off

I am changed anyway

And is it for the better?

Would I have not been better off

Just coming there

Right where you were

Right where you needed me

Right when you needed me the most

Yes, I would have been impacted

No doubt

But we could have worked through this together

We could have been changed for the better

Is it too late

I really don’t know

I want to say, I’m sorry

I messed up, I should have been a better….

I should have…

And now, I watch you

From far off

I stand there, in regret

Silence and pretending this will all just go away

As you have done

And I think for now

It’s just easier

Covered by His....GRACE

Grace. Last week God showed me this word several times each day. U2 was my favourite band growing up. Love this song, and love the lyrics, that remind us of God's amazing grace. That He took it all, all of it, upon Himself- and He covered us with His grace, and wiped it all out- cleansed us and made us forever free in Him. And all because He loved us, and loves us still...


Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness in everything

Grace, she's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything

Grace, she carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips between her fingertips
She carries a pearl in perfect condition

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace makes beauty out of ugly things


Music: U2
Lyrics: Bono


Here's what Bono writes about God's grace... Love it, love it, love it!


“…it is my favourite word in the lexicon of the English language. It’s a word I’m depending on. The universe operates by Karma, we all know that. For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction. There is some atonement built in: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Then enters Grace and turns that upside down. I love it. I’m not talking about people being graceful in their actions but just covering over the cracks. Christ’s ministry really was a lot to do with pointing out how everybody is a screw up in some shape or form, there’s no way around it. But then He was to say, well, I am going to deal with those sins for you. I will take on Myself all the consequences of sin. Even if you’re not religious I think you’d accept that there are consequences to all the mistakes we make. And so Grace enters the picture to say, “ I’ll take the blame, I’ll carry your cross”. It is a powerful idea. Grace interrupting Karma.