Poems in the UK- No. 2

Here's another poem I wrote on our UK visit in 2003. As I said in my last post, Malcolm was so excited about the plane journey- and I wasn't. It turned out that I wasn't so bad- in fact I asked the Dr for advice and followed it faithfully. I got on the plane, ate my meal an hour later. Took an antihistamine tablet that made me drowsy. Fell asleep. Drooled and snored [much to the embarassment of Malcolm] and woke up about an hour before we landed in LA- our half way stop. Mal on the other hand, went into silent panic mode. He soon came to realise what cabin fever is, and that he actually was claustrophobic on those long haul flights. For the rest of that time in the UK, he had to learn to overcome this. I coped with making jokes about it, including teasing him about me sucking up all the air in elevators etc- mean aye! It turns out, it was just that trip, as the next UK one- he was fine. He now has learned that you just need to place your anxieties into God's hands, and to know what to expect and how to manage this when in that situation. From the whole thing, it made me more aware of how we breath, and how we take air for granted. Totally. It's there, and so vital- and we don't even think about it. But when we think we're not going to be able to have it, or have enough of it- it can send us into panic mode. Guess it's a bit like our relationship with God...hmmm....

Breathe

Air

Something we cannot see

Yet take for granted

That it is there

For us

We need it
Want it

Cannot be without it

It is the last thing we take in of this

Place we call home

Earth

When we can take no more

We can be no more

Air

Breathe

And be thankful for what it is

For  what it does

For who we are

Because of it

Everything we think we need

Our desires

What drives us

Is already

Is

Air

Poems in the UK

My daughter Aimee is off to the UK on Monday. One whole month- yikes, that is such a long time for such a long way away. I was thinking about the first time I went to London to visit my best childhood friend Kate. That was back in 2003. It was the furtherest I'd ever been- such an adventure. Malcolm was excited about the whole flight and travelling buzz. At the time, I was quite nervous about the whole long haul flight. I was also pretty wound up with life stress. I'd had several years watching friends go through cancer, trying to run a school that had undergone a number of large scale changes, and trying to make sense of my life as a wife, mother, lead educator, and my walk with God. The week before I left to go to London, I visited a Mountain View School in Mangere. They'd won the Goodman Fielder School of the Year Award for their environment and their school philosophy/ practices. Walking around the school that afternoon and taking in all the colours, gardens, trees and just the whole environment was actually soothing to my soul. That day, I left and it was like someone had lifted the lids of my eyes, wiped the lenses- it was like I was looking at the world with fresh eyes. Every tree, cloud, every natural thing in sight just seemed so much more brighter in colour. It was the beginning of coming out of a time of great stress, kind of like that Bette Midler song: The Rose..."Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow. Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring, becomes the rose".
I wrote this poem in London. It's kind of a play on the whole 'not being able to see the wood for the trees'- when you are so in the thick of it, that you just don't always get perspective on things.

I saw the wood

I saw the would

I stepped back and stopped for a bit

And there it was

Senses

They had been turned off to it

Desensitised

They say it happens

Becoming clinical

Safety zone

Emergency shut off

Keep back from the barrier

Only it took

Taking down the barrier

And keeping back

To reveal 

The would

I saw the wood

I saw the would

I stepped back and stopped for a bit

And there it was

Stop

Rest

Where do you go from what you said

You would?

Foresting around for answers

Undergrowth

Patient quiet earth

Reveals all in time

Sky is blue

Ground is soft

All is well with the world

Stop, step back for a bit

And there it is.

My prayer is that Aimee has a great time, and that God will continue to reveal to her His plans for her life in the next little while. It's a great blessing to be able to leave the world you know behind, and to look back, to reflect on what that world looks like, how you look like in it, and how it [and you] might look differently/ better in the future. Lord look after my little girl. Amen

Survey copied from another blog...

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? 
Oh my gosh- can you explain that to my husband! We're not supposed to have anymore thanks to the handy op a few years back- yikes! 

Do you trust all of your friends? 
I don't think you can trust anyone- we're all flawed, but I think you can act in a trusting way towards one another- so you can trust in your relationship- knowing that there's never going to be absolute perfect trust. You can only trust in God totally!

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? 
Yes.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 
Yes- according to His purpose.

Can you make a dollar in change right now? 
If I looked under cushions, down the side of the couch, etc. Most probably.

Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? 
Kate- she loves blood and gore. She'd have the stomach for all that kind of thing. About her bedside manner- well....hmmm

Are you afraid of falling in love? 
I'd be afraid of never falling in love- thankfully that never happened. I fall in love everyday with my husband.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? 
Sometimes I've had thoughts about a person and then somehow something happens to them and I realise I'd actually thought about them at that time.

Whats your most favorite scar? 
The one on my foot where I sneaked a turn of my sisters rollerskate [just the one] that she found at the dump. It had one wheel missing, and as I was rolling about the driveway, it tore into my foot- ouch. Remember strapping up my foot and not telling anyone about the gash, as she'd have nagged me for using her stuff without her permission.

When was the last time you flew in a plane? 
In January- flew to Brisbane with the family. 

What did the last text message you sent say? 
Sent a pxt message to my husband- a cute picture saying Do you love me? He sent one back- yes I do:)

What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? 
Smile, sense of humour.

What features do you find least attractive in the preferred sex? 
People that go on about themselves. Grumpy people- aahhh!

Fill in the blank. I love: 
God, Malcolm my husband, my children, my family and friends, travelling, trying something new, spending time by myself, writing, reading, my work, life!

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? 
To continue to learn to surf

If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call? 
My husband and children. I'd also call the nurse to bring me some food.

How many kids do you want to have? 
I have 3- so I have to say 3 right! But seriously, even though I didn't want any originally- I wouldn't change a thing- I'm totally blessed!
Would you make a good parent? 
I hope so. You'd have to ask my kids.
Where was your default picture taken? 
At my youngest daughters prizegiving.

Honestly, whats on your mind right now? 
Nothing much- just that it is so blinkin cold right now. Snowed today in Auckland for the first time in 40 years.

If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? 
To have been a stay at home mother to my kids when they were little.

What are you wearing right now? 
Black jeans, black jumper, natural coloured cardigan, leopard print scarf. Slippers!

Favorite animal? 
Have no preference- just hate, hate rodents.

Have you had the chicken pox? 
Yes- still have a scar on my forehead from when I had them as a kid.

Have you had a sore throat? 
Yep.


Ever had a bar fight? 
No

Who knows you the best? 
Malcolm my husband, and a couple of good friends. Probably my kids know me well too.

Ever been in a fight with your pet? 
No
Been to Mexico? 
No

Did you buy something today? 
3 mince pies and a bottle of coke

Did you get sick today? 
Yes- I've got a sore back

Do you miss someone today? 
Yes- my husband when I was at work.
Do you have a fight with someone today? 
No

When is the last time you had a massage? 
Last night my daughter massaged my foot.

Last person to lay in your bed? 
My husband- he's probably still there huddled up in the blankets... brrrrrrr...

Last person to see you cry? 
Anyone at church yesterday.


Who made you cry? 
Having someone sharing about their Nana who just passed away.

What was the last TV show you watched? 
My kitchen rules

What are your plans for the weekend? 
A baby shower and then farewell dinner.
Who was the last person you hung out with? 
Merete Murphy

If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say? 
Sure- can you give me a few months to lose weight so I can fit a nice dress.

Suffer, so good

It is better, if it's God's will,  to suffer for doing good, than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3: 17 

Sometimes it's tempting to just do what seems to come naturally. To retaliate, to try to justify oneself. It's not easy. Jesus himself experienced what this is like. Prior to His ministry, Jesus fasted 40 days and nights. During this time the devil came to tempt him...

Luke 4: Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness

 1 Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2 where for forty days he was tempted[a] by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them he was hungry.

 3 The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”

 4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.’[b]”

 5 The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. 6 And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. 7 If you worship me, it will all be yours.”

 8 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’[c]”

 9 The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. 10 For it is written:

   “‘He will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you carefully;
11 they will lift you up in their hands,
   so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’[d]”

 12 Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’[e]”

 13 When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.

It was after this, that Jesus began His ministry.

Some lessons we can learn from Jesus' experience in the wilderness...

1. When we know God's word, we can draw on them like weapons, ready to slay or defend the attacks of the enemy.

2. The power is in His word, it's the truth.

3. Expect to be tempted- be prepared. Word-up!

4. The devil will depart, but he'll just wait for another opportunity in the future. Be prepared for that.

5. Often when God is calling us in a new direction or ministry or step in our journey- He allows us to experience adversity (to reveal what He has put into our hearts, and what He wants us to know about Him and His word- in preparation for the battle.

5. The enemy will try to make you doubt who you are in God- your identity by falsely accusing you, e.g. "If you say you are a son of God, then....(prove it , by your performance).

6. The enemy lies to us- tempting us to give in or submit to him- promising "things"/ power, etc- physical pleasures. When that happens- you need to speak to the enemy directly and tell Him where to go- behind you, not in front leading or to the side walking with you. Only God has His place as your leader and guide.

7. The enemy knows God's word too, and will try to use it to trick you to do something that you shouldn't. It's important you recognise and seek the truth in what you hear- and can call on the word of the Lord to bring correction (the spirit discerns the truth in His word).

8. Jesus knew "It is written"- He was human. He would have had to have studied and hidden God's word in His heart. To have abided in His word, so that it would become as knowledge to Him, and to then recall on this when needed.

9. The enemy will tempt you when you're at a weak point (physically, mentally, spiritually), e.g. after 40 days fasting, or even when you've been on a spiritual high. 

The enemy tries to say...

"Who are you?"

"Prove it".

"I can make you great, if you'll be mine"

"If you are who you say you are then...[prove it]"

Jesus suffered, because He knew that it was for our good- that it would be better to take that kind of suffering, to deny Himself so that He could be presented as a living sacrifice for our sins, holy and undefiled. He knew, that being God's will, that this suffering would be way better than the suffering He could have had, had he have given in to the temptations of evil. Praise Him for His faithfulness, for His love for us- then, now and forever. Amen

Habits- what are you wearing?

This week I've had to deal with someone who has, despite so many attempts to help them, continued to try to stir up trouble and manipulate and negatively influence those around them. I was praying about this- and considering why it is so hard to break bad habits. The Lord was guiding me to learn more about habits. The dictionary defines habit as:

1 a settled or regular tendency or practice, esp. one that is hard to give up

it also refers to habit as:

2• archaic dress; attire

or 

3 archaic a person's bodily condition or constitution 

I like looking up the history of the meaning of a word. Here's some background on the word habit:

ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French abit, habit, from Latin habitus ‘condition, appearance,’ from habere ‘have, consist of.’ The term originally meant [dress, attire,] later coming to denote physical or mental constitution.

When I read these meanings I could see a connection between the kinds of behaviours we practice and the archaic meaning of habit- a dress or attire. Our habits become the things we wear. What we clothe ourselves in. What we become comfortable in, or settle into. Eventually, these habits can wear us, to the point they become our physical and mental condition. What came to mind was the scripture :

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.Colossians 3:12-14

It's like God is reminding me that it's up to me to put on these things habitually [daily]- like a 'dress' or my attire. Clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Put up with others, even when they may have wronged me- show forgiveness, remembering that I'm forgiven for much more than what I might be upset about. And above all else- over the top of all of those layers of clothing- put on love, which will just set everything off, bring it all together.

Having prayed about this, God showed me in His word that although at times it can be a struggle, 

"...it is better, if it is the will of God to suffer for doing good, than for doing evil". 1 Peter 3:17. I'll share more revelations about this in my next update...

Piling up...

Back to school today- first day of a new term. Had a good start- praise God! Wanted to write about 'imagination'... but I think I need to spend some more time studying His word about this and waiting on Him to show me more about that. I found this poem I'd written a few years back, that when reading it again all these years later, gives me encouragement, that even though still today, I can get overwhelmed by some of what comes my way, in my family and work life, and probably just life in general- God is right there with me, holding my hand and walking me through this wonderful life. He's reminding me that instead of becoming overwhelmed- with Him, I can overcome! Amen:)

Piling up…

I looked around

And all I could see

Were piles and piles

Awaiting me

What I had put on wait

What I had put on hold

Were staring at me

Getting old

All around

And all within

The weight of the piles

Began to look grim

But there in the midst

Of all of my mess

Stood my Saviour

Ready to bless

He took my hand

And told me to rest

You can wait

I have only the best

He prepared a way

Through all of those piles

What seemed like eternity

Was just a few miles

He paved the way

He showed me the truth

He gave me my life

He raised the roof

He held me up

He comforted me

He walked out and stilled

My storm in Galilee

Thank you Jesus

I never could do

Without the strength

That comes in trusting you.