Wednesday 23 September 2015

What drives you?

It's not WHAT drives you, but WHO drives you?
All our questions- WHAT, WHY, HOW...it all comes back to WHO.

Wednesday 2 September 2015

Space Distractions

Yesterday I woke up and got myself and Rose off to the Tuesday morning 6am prayer meeting. Two words that were on my heart leading up to this meeting was 'distraction' and 'space'. The Lord was showing me that one of the enemy's greatest weapons is to use distractions to take us off our focus on Him; to take us away from what and where He has called us to do and be. If he can just lure us away, temptations, he knows he has opened up the way to get lost again. It's so easy isn't it. This can happen so subtly that we don't even see it coming until it's too late and we have wondered off. It can happen in so many different areas of our lives. For me it's my smartphone. Sometimes I just can't help but look at it to see what is happening in the news, what is happening on Facebook, what the time is in London, what the weather is in Honolulu...and the list goes on. I think it has the potential to reduce my focus and concentration span as there is such a large array of things that I could be looking at on the smartphone that I might just stop looking more intensely into something that I should be focusing on. My attention is being drawn on in all directions.
So what am I to do about that? Boundaries. Prayer. Focus. Stand. Fight. Be. Healing.
Space: our church has created a video on their website that promotes that there is space for everyone in our church. The Lord has shown me that this space is not just in the physical spaces of the church building or the carpark. It's not even about carving out space in the way we run our services. It's about a space in the kingdom. It's about a space, that once declared as one's own, then becomes your place. It's about creating space within our hearts for those who need to come and be loved and cared for. It's about space to breath and feel like you are not going to suffocate because there is no more space for air. This week there have been a few articles or just little things around creating space within your life in order for you to breath and feel like you can have room for yourself and others. They've been about 'decluttering' your space, in order for you to let go of unnecessary things in your space, in your life. Sometimes we hold on and build up, and those things suffocate us in the end. They drain the very life out of us. Perhaps this is a word for the church. Just like what someone prophesied...there will be things that we will just stop doing, just because it has become a habit- but if it is not serving THE purpose, then why continue? It's a word for me personally- this I know.
The relationship between space and distraction is this. Sometimes people can fill up their space with distractions. We can feel uncomfortable with all this space (in our homes, diets, time, hearts...), because without the clutter- we have nothing to fluff around about, nothing to moan about, nothing to say "I'm just so busy/ bogged down/ overwhelmed". Without the clutter there is just a 'me and Him' and a 'me and you'.
So what does this mean for me. I need to make space in my life. To declutter and to prioritise what is important that gets left there and what gets moved out or moving on from.
My priorities are:
Relationship with Father God;
Relationship with myself- my own health and wellbeing...yikes this has been at the bottom of the list for so long...hmmmm
Marriage
My kids, our family
Family- extended
Church- oops, haven't really prioritised this for a while
Work
Friends, Social life

I'm going to pray about this more. Lord help me in turning away from distractions (temptations). Lead me in the way everlasting.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory FOREVER and ever
Amen

Monday 31 August 2015

Prayer Advance 12 Days of Prayer

Today we start our 12 Days of Fasting and Praying as a church. We've been encouraged to do the Daniel Fast and to take time to seek God in a greater and more intimate way. To look for what He is doing and saying to us, individually and collectively.
On Sunday I awoke in a sweat. Leading up to that I was having the most intense dream.
The dream involved me in this theatre production. I saw myself in this theatre and the people in this production were people in my life, from school and I think from church (but definitely from school). I was in my role as principal. I remember seeing the production being put together and thinking, 'Man this is going to be great'. I'd then been involved in promoting what we were doing and getting the crowds in. The thing was it was opening night. Everyone was getting ready for curtain call. The people were going to filling up the large theatre of seats. Suddenly someone asked am I ready. "Am I ready for what?" Am I ready for my part? I was like "No- I'm not in this....What?!" I thought to myself, "No- this can't be happening. I haven't rehearsed for me to be in this. I remembered in the dream that I was madly trying to work out what I was supposed to do. I knew only the first line of my character and that was something like saying "A place of peace and understanding" Everything else was a blank. I madly tried to scramble around and get the scripts from others around me in the production. Some only had their own pages, others had some but a few pages missing, while others had all the pages but they weren't in order. I was thinking, "I really need to bring all these bits together and put them in some sense of order and make meaning of it all in order to know what my bit is, but I just don't have time...the people are starting to come in". I remember going "Where is Carol! I need Carol". Carol is my principal supervisor, and I was thinking "I just need someone who I can talk this through with. Someone who can just bring some calm to me and for this situation".
I could feel the sweat and anxiety of the situation and I was thinking "How can this be. I need to get out of this somehow". I remember telling myself "Wake up- just wake up and get out of it now". And then- I just woke up. You know how you wake up and you think, "Whew- that was an intense dream. Thank God it's just a dream!". Yeah- that's how I felt. I still woke up in that same cold sweat as in the dream and my stomach was just so sore from that anxiety. Amazing how physiologically your body can react to what is going on in your mind and spirit.
Anyway- I lay there trying to make sense of the dream, because I knew that it had some meaning for me. I thought about what I'd been thinking about before I drifted off to sleep. I'd been thinking about how anxiety has been trying to overcome me, especially when I have successfully completed something. It's like this wave that comes over me and is trying so hard to erode my confidence. I told Malcolm it's like this huge self doubt comes in and I know it's definitely a spiritual thing. I feel like I have to stand up and be strong, and I also know that I need Malcolm to be there for me when these things happen.
Anyway- I kind of put it to the back of my mind and went about getting ready for church. When I arrived at church the dream kept coming back to me, especially during the worship time.
What came to me was that God has great things in store (individually - He is calling me to greater things for Him) and also for our church. He was showing me that there is going to be increase in the people who will come, and that although we can promote and get excited about what is to come, individually we must all do our own bit. We need to fast and to pray in our own time and in our own personal relationship with God. We must do our preparation and make sense of what everyone has on the pages that God has given and shown them. Someone has to make sense and order of this in order to bring the workers together, for the harvest is ready.
I think it's no coincidence that I heard the line "A place of peace and understanding". I remember seeing that this was going to be one of the first introductory lines, almost like setting the scene for what is to come. I saw myself having to say this with my arms stretching out from within, like I was declaring this over the place (on the stage).
I know God gives us things for others and it's often for us specifically too. I was encouraged to make sure I do do my bit in the team, not just assuming it will be done by others. I guess too, that if we are going to reach out, we must also reach in- ourselves, to each other, and ultimately to Him.
Here's to more dreams and revelations.
Bless you Lord.
Amen xxx