Just ask

Last week I had this meeting that I was unsure of how it would go. I had to guide a team through some strategic planning. It's always an unknown when you're working with a group of people who may have varying ideas. Before I went to the meeting, I had a prayer walk early that morning. I was asking God for His help. I was especially asking him to show me in His word if there was anything that might help me. He gave me Ephesians Chapter 32 to look up. I found in Eph 32:8 "A noble man makes noble plans and by noble deeds he stands". He reminded me to look beyond myself and remember who I am doing this for- firstly for Him and then for His people. It helped me to know that God was so direct in His word to me about this specific request/ situation. It reminded me that I am noble- through Him. I am of noble stock! Therefore I can make noble plans, and when I undertake noble deeds, I can stand. Yes- I can stand against the attacks of the enemy. I can take a stand for the Lord. I can stand in the position where he has placed me. I can stand.
Lord- thank you again that you answer my prayers. You never leave me nor forsake me. Thank you that you reminded me to believe in the plans I was helping to shape- because You authorised me to do that. You also showed me to go ahead and keep doing good deeds- to be a blessing to others. And lastly, you reminded me not to be anxious for anything. If I need help, just come to you. Just ask!

It’s just easier

Poem I wrote the other night, thinking about what happens when someone disconnects because they can't face their own pain, and over time, the difficulty that happens when reconnection is wanted...but is not always as easy as 'picking up where we left off'...

It’s just easier

It’s easier to be angry at you

To hold you at arms [or more] length

To distance myself

From you

To not allow myself to get close

Or any closer

For doing that would mean

I would be close enough

To feel your pain

To know what it must be like for you

The rawness of it

I’m in protection mode

Don’t want to go there

And wonder if I can ever come back

Unchanged

Yet, when I step further back

As I imagine what it is like

Coming closer

I can see and feel

That, my retreating

Hasn’t totally closed me off

I am changed anyway

And is it for the better?

Would I have not been better off

Just coming there

Right where you were

Right where you needed me

Right when you needed me the most

Yes, I would have been impacted

No doubt

But we could have worked through this together

We could have been changed for the better

Is it too late

I really don’t know

I want to say, I’m sorry

I messed up, I should have been a better….

I should have…

And now, I watch you

From far off

I stand there, in regret

Silence and pretending this will all just go away

As you have done

And I think for now

It’s just easier

Covered by His....GRACE

Grace. Last week God showed me this word several times each day. U2 was my favourite band growing up. Love this song, and love the lyrics, that remind us of God's amazing grace. That He took it all, all of it, upon Himself- and He covered us with His grace, and wiped it all out- cleansed us and made us forever free in Him. And all because He loved us, and loves us still...


Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness in everything

Grace, she's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything

Grace, she carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips between her fingertips
She carries a pearl in perfect condition

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace makes beauty out of ugly things


Music: U2
Lyrics: Bono


Here's what Bono writes about God's grace... Love it, love it, love it!


“…it is my favourite word in the lexicon of the English language. It’s a word I’m depending on. The universe operates by Karma, we all know that. For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction. There is some atonement built in: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Then enters Grace and turns that upside down. I love it. I’m not talking about people being graceful in their actions but just covering over the cracks. Christ’s ministry really was a lot to do with pointing out how everybody is a screw up in some shape or form, there’s no way around it. But then He was to say, well, I am going to deal with those sins for you. I will take on Myself all the consequences of sin. Even if you’re not religious I think you’d accept that there are consequences to all the mistakes we make. And so Grace enters the picture to say, “ I’ll take the blame, I’ll carry your cross”. It is a powerful idea. Grace interrupting Karma.

Mighty Men of Valour...

Found this too...I can't sleep so am going through some of my personal stuff saved on my computer. It's great to look back sometimes and see just how far you've come in your walk with the Lord, and to think there's so much more He has in stored for us. How cool is that?!

Mighty Men of Valour

Mighty men are prepared for war and numbered.

God assigns a number to His ‘mighty men of valour’.

When God assigns a number to His mighty men of valour, as always there is more to this than meets the eye. God in His wisdom is doing a number of things…

He is a God of order.  In numbering His men, he is showing that He has a purpose and a plan, and he is bringing together this plan even as we speak.

God is ‘assigning’ his men a number- he is giving them an assignment- both individually and collectively as a unit of force. There is great expectation in this assignment, because each member is needed. God would not just give a number haphazardly or accidentally. He would not assign say, ‘1, 2, 3, 4’ and then count ‘1, 2, ..4’, and say, ‘Oh well 3 isn’t here so we will go on- God never gives up on those who He has chosen. God would expect that the troops would rally around and ensure that each one is there at roll call- or in other words- when needed or expected.

When God assigns a number, He is really saying- you are important, you are unique, you have a place in the ‘order’ of things.

God is gathering His troops. Just as in the ‘physical army’, when you are assigned your number, it is that number that identifies you in that organisation. From then on, in your training and development thereafter, your achievement (or testimony) relates back to your ‘identity’, your number- it is very much like Paul, once known as Saul- whose ‘identity’ changed when he was given a new ‘assignment’ (or life’s purpose- God’s purpose- to build His kingdom). In gathering His troops, God has assigned you a number. You are in His army, and you will identify with that number, and the assignment that comes with that calling on your life.

 Even though God can count to infinity, and we would probably run out of breath if we tried, God knows each ‘numbered’ man intimately. He loves each one and seeks to have a personal relationship with each member. In this way, as each one is strengthened, this too strengthens the body, His army. Make your number count.

God works in numbers and with numbers, and so too must the body of Christ- not as lone soldiers. The battle will never be won that way.

Lastly- God needs His men to be numbered. If they weren’t, who then could he ‘count on’ to fight the battle?

Letting go

Found this poem I wrote about 5 years ago... 

Letting go

When will it all end

This holding on so tight

To what I think I know

And how I think it should go

When will it all end

That I should serve myself

Put all that on the shelf

And let it go

Will I not surrender

To the Father’s will

To what He wants for me

To know that it’s His plan

Will I not submit

To His authority

To know Him intimately

And love Him, as He loves me

When will I realise

That He is in control

The answers are all there for me

In Him

He loves me and has purposed me

To be just who I am

Just perfect little me

Perfected in His image, for His glory

When will I let go

Releasing my tight grip

And falling into His arms

Ready to capture and receive all He has for me

It’s not about me, it’s about Him

It’s all about you Father

When I let go of me,

There you are.

I love you.

I will never be too cool for you...

This morning at church, missionaries our church supports, Alan & Linda Stephenson, visited us and shared the work they are doing in Tanzania. Very inspirational. They spoke about being a fool for Christ, and encouraged us to consider 'Who's fool are you?' They spoke about being a fool for christ, so that you can then be 'full of Christ'. Being a fool for Christ is about dying to yourself, so that Christ might live in you as fully as He can, without you getting in the way. Being a fool, and submitting to His will and His ways that are higher than yours. It inspired me to write this for Him...

Who are you a fool for?

I want to be a fool for you God

To know that no matter what

When I trip and stumble falling flat on my face

When everyone else is laughing and teasing

And when the world is telling me

Stay down, you don’t deserve to get up

You Lord will be there,

You’ll lift me up, dust me off

You’ll say, no child of mine is a fool in my sight

Though you may stumble

Though you may fall

I can see that your heart was right with me

You didn’t care that in running to me

As hard as you might

As long as it took

As foolish as you felt, when they said

Who are you to think you can make it?

That you are deserving of His love?

You see, what they fail to realise

Is that, because you have prepared to put it all on the line

To go the distance

To run the race that I have set for you

I will honour that

I will come to you

It is I, Yes, it is I

Who is the victor

I will come and live in you

In me, you will be victorious

My glory lives, so that one day you will see it

You will know, that as foolish as you may have felt

All wisdom and knowledge and the fullness of Christ

Will be a crown for you

Don’t get caught up in wanting to be right all the time

Let go and know that I Am

Where you aren’t- I Am

Where you aren’t clever- I Am

Where you aren’t confident- I Am

Where you aren’t brave- I Am

Where you aren’t enough- I Am

Thank you Lord for all that I am not, and for all that you are: I Am

Your loving foolish daughter Sonia xxx

Forgiveness

God is amazing. I know, I probably say that alot, but it's true. God, you are AMAZING. I just like the way you operate God. You're so clever and how you weave everything together. Just as the scripture says, ...and all things work together for good, for those who love the Lord, for those who are called according to His purpose... In the past couple of weeks, I've been talking to God about someone who has caused me alot of grief. That person has been very vindictive and manipulative behind the scenes. As much as I wanted to just hand it all over to God, and move forward, and as much as I had prayed and talked to Him about it- there was just this growing feeling of animosity towards this person. Like a sign I had read on a Facebook page somewhere, the person I was holding a grudge against, was renting my headspace for free! Anyway, during my fasting, I spent a bit more time prayer walking in the mornings, and talking to God about things, including this person. I was saying, "God, I just don't want to feel like this towards that person. I know it's not good and it's not how you would expect me to be. God, will you just show me how to love them, like you love me". For a few months now, I've had to endure this person's company. To keep myself 'safe' and sane, I distanced myself [in my mind, if not physically]. I kept my conversations to a minimum and chose topics like how the weather was, etc just so I wouldn't have to end up getting too deep and meaningful and allowing myself to be vulnerable to any further potential attacks.
Anyway, last week I had the opportunity to talk to this person in a formal capacity, and I knew that I couldn't just default to small talk. I had to talk about the big stuff, the things that really matter. Going into that meeting, I prepared myself in prayer. I told God, "I need you to go before me Lord. Help me and have your way in that situation". Just before the meeting, I decided- I'm just going to keep it about the agenda- nothing emotional, just stick to what we are there for. Keep my emotions in check and don't allow this to cloud what might turn out to be a positive experience. Well- initially I could sense the unease we both felt, but then something happened- God showed up. His Holy Spirit was right there watching over us, smoothing out stuff. He allowed a breaking of the tension, so that we were both able to talk about what had been happening between us. He allowed me to listen better and to be reminded that most/ usually all of the time, people's issues really are their own, and they just project them onto others. In that meeting, we were both able to acknowledge that we could have done things better and that we would learn from this and look to moving forward. It ended by me praying for us both, and praying specifically for them.
This person had had a revelation of what God was showing them, and for them, it was a new season of change. This includes the potential for them to relocate to a new situation. As I was sharing this information with Malcolm last night, I was telling him how happy I was for them. "You're only happy because it means you can finally see the back of them" he said. I told him, that actually, even though there is a part of me in the natural that feels a little like this because of our history- I genuinely feel happy for THEM. As I thought about this, I was just so AMAZED at how much God loved me. God reminded me that when you truly love someone, you only ever want what is best for them [not yourself], even if it means that you don't get your own way. I don't know how many times I've talked about this with my girls growing up. The true test of if someone truly loves you, is that they will want what is best for you.
I knew in that moment of realising this, that God had answered my prayer. He had dealt with what was in my heart, that both He and I knew shouldn't be there. He had listened to what I had said, and He had healed my heart. He had reminded me, that He is patient in His love. He didn't force me to forgive this person. He allowed me the pain of carrying that unforgiveness, so that I would know, this is not His plan for my life, and that if I am to walk on with Him, I too must love and forgive others, as He has loved and forgiven me.
Thank you Lord that what comes to try and harden my heart- your love melts that away. You soften-not harden hearts. Soft hearts can take the knocks and pressure, they are strengthened by these. Hard hearts under the same pressure, are easier to break.
Lord thank you for a forgiving heart. Amen.

A week of Fasting...

So, it's been 7 days of fasting. To be honest, I've loved having no TV. No facebook. No technology usage that has been cluttering up my time, my thinking, my space. Today I was resting and just staring out the window. The rain was falling softly on the trees and garden outside my home. It was peaceful and serene. The word 'Noise' came to mind. I thought "Man, God, my life has just been this constant 'noise' of activity going on, around me and inside me". There's just been this silence in our home- a quietness, even when the girls are talking or laughing or arguing. It's just 'noiseless'. It made me think, God is wanting me to quieten down, the noise of my life, that is competing for His small quiet voice. When God speaks to me and with me, He doesn't want to compete for my attention. He doesn't want me to be confused by all that is going on, and to not know clearly that it is Him, and what He is saying for my life.

Something I have loved about this fast that we are doing together is the time that we are having as a family each night- a time of devotion. It has helped to have a shared purpose to come together to talk about and to pray for. What has amazed me is just how much my children have grown in the Lord. Thank you God for their growth and maturity in the things of you, and in their relationship with you. Thank you again for calling them unto yourself. It's been so nice to hear Rosie's prayers and how much she loves and knows you, and that Aimee and Olivia are great examples of Godly young women for their younger sister. Their Dad and I are blown away by them.

This past week God's been speaking to me about the 'bread of idleness'. When I heard this, I was convicted of just how idle I had become. If I were to be a fly on the wall of my lounge, I'd see me there most evenings in front of the TV, laptop on, switching between facebook and my work and personal technology usage. I'm ashamed to admit that, as I used to whizz around my house making sure everything was done, trying to ensure that our family was a bit more organised than it is now. I guess too as my girls got older and they had their own laptops, etc- our lives have evolved to this. 

When God spoke to me about the 'bread of idleness'- I was thinking of the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31, where it says: "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat of the bread of idleness" Prov 31: 27. I was thinking, the Holy Spirit is convicting me of being lazy. There's probably, no, there is some truth to that. However, as I started to meditate on this 'bread' of idleness, the Lord showed me that when He refers to 'bread' He's talking about 'words' and in reference to His word. He showed me all the 'worldy words' that I'm overindulging in, that are taking me away from spending time with Him and in His word. God showed me that these words, i.e. conversations on facebook, talking on the phone, reading magazines and newspapers too much, TV, internet surfing... all these words do not bring life- they are void and have no value. If they do not bring life, they are lifeless, and can be likened to death itself. God 

has been encouraging me to 'partake in the bread of life'. He has told me, "less reading to listening to words that do not bring life", so I know I need to have more listening and reading of His words that will bring me life, as He meant it to be.

Thanks Lord for this reminder and for your correction in this area of my life.

Today's reading in our 'Breakthrough' fasting booklet was from Isaiah 58:6. God showed me that it's broken into three parts. 

God chooses this kind of fast...

1. Breaking free- those trapped by wickedness, taking away the heaviness of life's stresses, freeing those life's been hard to, breaking the hold that's been placed on people;

Then He tells us what to do...

2. Feed those who hunger, bring those less fortunate into your homes, clothe those who need it, and go and be with people- fellowship;

Then He tells us to watch [what will happen]...

3. God's light will shine everywhere, big time, we'll be healed and well, our good ways will go before us [preparation], and He'll reward us with His glory- it will be ours

God encouraged me to share at our family devotion tonight that He is more interested, not in what we are fasting from, but in what we are fasting for. It was a good reminder for all of us to continue to press into God, knowing that He has purposed this time, a time of preparation of our hearts, to get over ourselves, and to overcome the tendency to put us at the centre of our lives- and to turn back to Him, to prepare a place where He can take authority and His rightful place.

In verse 9, God then goes on to say..."Then [after you've realised the kind of fast I would choose for you], you shall call and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am'" Isa 58:9. God's plan is for us to prepare our hearts by knowing what He wants for His people, doing as He has asked for His people, and then we will see Him in action both in our lives and the lives of His people. God's showing us a pattern: His Command...Our Obedience...His Blessing. 

Then after that- not before, God reminds us that when we call on Him, He'll answer us, He'll be there and He'll make known to us that, 'Yes' it is Him. And why then? Because, when our hearts have been changed to the beat of His heart, our cries and our requests will be as His cry, His request, His will.

God change my heart. Circumcise the things in my heart that stop it from beating to your heart beat. Show me how to love your people as you have loved me. Love ya heaps God. xxx

Going up the Mountain, breakthrough

So we're starting our 21 day Breakthrough fast as a church. I'm really excited about what God is going to do in the next little while. God's been showing me lots of things leading up to this, and I'm just so grateful and honoured that God Himself would reveal some of these things to me, and that He will use this, me and our church- His people to fulfil his purpose. Lead the way God!!!

So what's the 21 day fast all about. Our church has undergone a time of transition, where our Senior Pastors for over thirty years have stood down, and our Youth Pastors have taken their place. It's such a God appointed thing, and it feels right in the spirit- right from when Pastor Jim & Anneke, now continuing to serve on the pastoral/ eldership team, announced that they were going to be moving into another role in the wider life of the church, both nationally and internationally. When they shared with Malcolm and I, I immediately felt an excitement in my spirit. Kind of like when Mary shared with her cousin, John's mother Elizabeth, also pregnant at the time, that she was going to be giving birth to the Messiah- and Elizabeth's baby gave a kick and movements of delight inside her. The response was one of joy and affirmation.

Anyway- this Fast is about seeking God's will for where he wants us as a church, individually and as a family to go in the future. This morning as we were worshipping, Pastor Stephen encouraged us to reach up if we'd been going through tough times, etc. I raised my arms as all week I've been unwell, and also in the work I do, I'm often under spiritual attack, and sometimes can be tempted to give in to anxiety, etc. As I lifted my hands, I felt the Lord's annointing over me. He was showing me how wide my arms would go, and that He was in the process of increasing His vision for my life. He told me that He was preparing my heart for what He is about to show me- something that even I cannot imagine in my own natural self, and that it's too big for me to comprehend. It's a God vision- bigger than my vision. Amen to that!

Now... back to the transition and breakthrough stuff:) 

The morning our new Senior Pastors were inducted into their roles, with the laying of hands, and the annointing for their appointment- the Lord showed me during the worship time a mountain that had a cloud that covered the top of the mountain- except that you could see a little bit of the peak of the mountain. I pondered on that and thought that maybe the Lord was showing me that although we've come so far [up the mountain] as a church, there is still more in store for us, that we cannot yet see- but it is only a short distance away from the summit. Don't give up. I thought that was pretty cool, and never really gave things too much further thought, but stored that vision away anyway. Sometimes things don't make sense at the time, but good ole God in time reveals all.

A couple of weeks ago, at church during the worship time, the Lord showed me another vision. This time it was a Him and I and we were sitting in a cave on the top of a mountain, looking out over plains that were reddy, orange, pink and yellow in colour. We were just sitting in this cave looking out over them quietly. The Lord had his arm around me. We were just hanging out together. Fellowshipping. As we were looking out, He was showing me that He has a beautiful plan for me. That it was like a territory prepared for me, and that when I stepped out, everywhere my feet were going to tread, I would be taking authority in His name over that place. The colours were just like a watercolour picture, not vivid, but just pastel like and very serene. It was kind of like Africa, but it wasn't [or maybe that was my mind and flesh going 'No not Africa' LOL]. God was saying to me "I'm going to take you away for awhile, to a sanctuary I have prepared for you- so that we can just hang out and you can spend time with me. By spending time with me, I'm going to show you things that I want you to know. It's not going to be anything that you do in the natural. It's only going to be by spending time with me, that you will have a spiritual transfer of this knowledge". 

Both of these visions affirmed and encouraged me in what God is doing in our church and that we are in accord with His will. But I have to do my bit as one part of the greater body of Christ.

I drew aside and spent some time earlier last week when I was at home unwell. I had a quiet time with the Lord and I began to write down the visions He'd shown me and begun to meditate and seek out what God might have wanted me to know. God quickened to me the scriptures about going up the mountain, and directed me to read about Moses going up Mt Sinai. 

Exodus 24: 12

The Lord said to Moses "Come up to Me on the mountain and be there. I will give you the tablets of stone (with commandments for teaching)"

So Moses he responds.

Then Moses went up the mountain and a cloud covered the mountain. Now the glory of the Lord rested on Mt Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days. And on the seventh day He called Moses out of the midst of the cloud. The sight of the glory of the Lord was like a consuming fire on top of the mountain. So Moses went into the midst of the cloud and went up into the mountain. Moses ended up staying there 40 days and 40 nights.

It was after this time that the Lord spoke to Moses. God then instructed Moses to make a sanctuary so that He could dwell among them, i.e gave the people the pattern of the tabernacle [or how He wanted things to be done, guidance for His people to prepare for a life of living with Him, and then for Him].

After reading that in the scriptures, I can tell you, I was pretty amazed and going "Wow, God you're awesome". I then began to think about the second vision, the cave. I looked it up online, i.e. Moses, cave and whatdya know, I found this reference that spoke about 'Moses cave' as being at the summit of Mt Sinai, where Moses waited to receive God's Ten Commandments- God's instructions for how his people could live with Him and for Him.

So... That's pretty freaky and cool. God- you're a freaky dude! I love how you make us come and search out the answers, what You have to say on things. In these visions and revelations God's been showing me the following [and I'm sure there will be more to come]:

1. When God wants to get our attention, He will call us out from our valley, and up into His mountain- it's an invitation, not a demand and it's up to us to respond.

2. God has so much in store for us, that He wants to show us, but first of all we must be prepared. He will help us to prepare our hearts for what we have in store for us. Often, well most of the time, we're just not ready for what He has, and that's where He allows us to be tested, because like Moses, we have to actually do something, i.e. MOVE CLOSER to be where He is waiting for us, and then when we get there, we have to WAIT on him. He knows that through the testing of our patience, it will help us to see that our will, which is demanding and self centred will be screaming and trying to convince us that we're crazy to be searching out for this God we haven't seen, He's not going to show up you fool! But Moses waited 6 days. He probably questioned a little or maybe alot- so when will you show up God? He waited 6 days, and then on the 7th God showed him enough for him to realise "Woah- okay, I believe you!" Then Moses goes on to wait on God for 40 days and 40 nights. We'll Moses must have been in total awe going "I ain't going back down until He's finished with what He want's to show me- nuh uh, I ain't going nowhere!"

3. The preparation of our hearts always comes from leaning on God, and knowing that He will minister to us, to our hearts. It's by spending time with Him, not making any demands or petitions, not expecting anything from Him for ourselves, except His unconditional and all consuming love. This morning when I woke up, I cuddled into Malcolm and wished him and happy anniversary. We just hugged for along time and what came to me was just how nice it was to cherish that close time of not asking one another for anything, not demanding or having to fulfil any roles in our home life, but just knowing that we loved one another and the happiness of being together, our relationship. I was saying to God, "I cherish this time and the fact that all we are focusing on at this time, leaving everything else aside, is that we are in love and that's all that matters right now". I heard in my spirit the emphasis on the word cherish, and that this is how I want to spend time with the Lord, just to 'cherish' that time, not going, 'shucks- when are you going to show yourself God, what are you trying to say to me here....'- just cherish that together time. Thanks God for this. I love you.

4. God's wants to show us His glory, and when we press into the midst of the cloud, His covering, we'll find Him if we search and wait for Him. When He does eventually meet with us and as we fellowship with Him, God reveals what He is doing and gives us guidance and instruction for where to next. He commissions us, for His greater commission. 

God is going to direct us on how we might set apart a place in our hearts where He will dwell amongst us, where He will reign over us- over our hearts. And when that happens, God is going to move in a mighty way. It will be His might, His power, the Spirit of the Lord having His way.

[Something else that I just remembered. After having meditated and been shown this, I just happened to pick up the 21 Days of Breakthrough Booklet that is a guide for our Fast. I hadn't noticed the cover, but when I looked at it, the front cover was a photo of clouds with the rays of sunshine shining through...just another one of God's clues that He's in all of this- God I love the way you operate, very cool!]

God, for all that you are doing, all praise and glory be to you. I pray your covering over your people, over our church, our family, my children, my husband and myself during this time. As you cover us, so that we might press into you and seek your glory, as we wait upon you Lord, may you bless us and take care of us. Protect us from the works of the enemy. Hold us close to yourself. I commit this time to you Lord, in Jesus name. Amen.

Abide- some notes to add to my collection of learnings from His Word...

abide |əˈbīd|

verb

1 [ intrans. ] ( abide by) accept or act in accordance with (a rule, decision, or recommendation) : I said I would abide by their decision.

2 [ trans. ] ( can/could not abide) informal be unable to tolerate (someone or something) : if there is one thing I cannot abide it is a lack of discipline.

3 [ intrans. ] (of a feeling or a memory) continue without fading or being lost.

• archaic live; dwell.

ORIGIN Old English ābīdan [wait,] from ā- ‘onward’ + bīdan (see bide ).

abide

Endure, put up with

Stay or dwell

obey

lasting

abide

Wait on me, not as a servant- but free in what I have planned for you.

Serving God is not being a slave- serving because you have to; it's spending time with Him and then waiting until the time is right, the setting is right- His timing is right- and then going in the knowledge that He has already made a way.

(John 15:4 NKJV) "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

Fasten yourself to me. Grafting- grow from the main source.

(John 15:5 NKJV) "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Acknowledging He is the source- unless we abide in him, we can bear nothing.

(John 15:6 NKJV) "If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.

We can be cast out like a branch, if we don't abide- graft ourself 

(John 15:7 NKJV) "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.

His words abiding in us- you will ask what you desire- and it shall be done for you. Your desire's will come out of His word- His truth, His purpose, His creation.

(John 15:9 NKJV) "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

He wants us right there- in His Love. The love he had from His Father, is the love He has for us.

(John 15:10 NKJV) "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.

He shows us how to abide in His love- keep His commandments. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. Love one another. This is a picture of what He has done, and an example of how we can follow Him in that.

TRUST

We can't trust in people or in things- we can only truly trust in God

People are flawed and imperfect, and it's unfair to expect otherwise

We are being perfected through Christ Jesus

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the kings delicacies

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the kings delicacies

I've been studying the book of Daniel lately. Admittedly, I think I've spent more time on Facebook, than in my 'Faithbook'- how sad. I really need and will do something about that. As I wonder why I've been doing this, I think it's really just to escape what I actually have to do. The enemy is sneaky- if you can be distracted from what you've been called to do, i.e. your purpose, he will do it in such a way, that at first you won't notice it. It seems all innocent, harmless even. And them BAM- you're hooked, like a drug addict who knows it's not good for you, but you just can't seem to take yourself away from it.

Okay- so I've enjoyed checking my updates, even posting funnies up there and seeing if anyone agrees. I guess it's that feeling of someone else 'liking' what you have to say- even if it is meaningless, and yes- alot of what is on facebook is meaningless. Thinking about this, makes me realise that my whole family are using technology way too much to communicate. Hmmm...when I think back to my adolescent years, we probably didn't spend that much time communicating with our parents, apart from the odd grunt here and there, and the conversations around needing money or stuff for school or our social life, etc. We were out with our friends, hanging out with our peers. I guess this facebook/ social networking via this different form of media is a development of the kinds of childhoods that our kids experienced, where no longer did they have the kind of freedom we had to just roam the neighbourhood and be gone for ages, while our parents trusted that we'd be okay. Times changed, circumstances changed and therefore the way we interacted and communicated I guess evolved. I suppose this form of media is one of their ways to keep their communication and 'relationships' going in this day and age. I guess too as a parent, I'm kind of able to keep up with some of what they are engaging in via this medium- just not stalking [had to put that in there in case one of them reads this and is on to me LOL]. 

So- what does this have to do with the study of Daniel? I'm working this out as I write this, so I'm trusting that this is Holy Spirit inspired. The thing God is showing me about Daniel was the kind of servant he was. He was an administrator- something similar to what I do. I'm a school administrator [that's a probably more of an American term used for head teachers/ principals]. God's been showing me the character of Daniel and how he was just so faithful to what God had called him to do and be. Daniel was selected as one of several to be trained up fit for service/ administration to the king of that time. Those selected were the best of the best- bright, handsome, fit and able and talented. So he was Dan the man, so to speak. The scripture that stuck out for me was in Chapter 1, where it says "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself of the kings delicacies". Daniel amongst the others called up for training, were given 'the royal treatment'- finest foods and wines, but Daniel didn't want any of this. Daniel probably knew that such trappings that come with being priveleged can actually distract you from what you've been called to do, and Daniel knew that he had been called to serve God first and foremost. In the book of Daniel two great examples, amongst many demonstrate that key message, i.e. when Daniels friends were put in the fiery furnance because they chose not to bow to the king of the day, only to the one true God Himself; and also when Daniel was cast into the Lion's den for acknowledging his God, and not bending down to the ruler of the day. Leading up to all of this, God blessed Daniel and his friends for their obedience, their faithfulness and their belief in Him- by guiding them through their times of disciplining themselves- being careful not to fall into the trap of partaking of the delicacies of the king-but only eating fruit, vegetables and water for 10 days and then being tested to see if the way they had followed [His way], was higher or better than the way dictated for them by the king. They were proven then to be trusted by both man and God, and then God took them to a new and higher level of faith by allowing them to go through those far-out trials. In both the fire and the lions den- God was with them. He was their protector, their provider, their deliverer. Through them, they proved to 'man' that their God was God. Sovereign. Miraculous. God.

So one [of the many] lessons for me... what are the delicacies that I might be partaking of, that will defile me? What are the trappings of a 'priveleged life' that will distract me or affect me and therefore stop me from achieving what God has purposed me to do for Him, for the kingdom?

I can think of a few:

Food- I'm eating way too much for what I need, and I'm getting too fat for my liking, let alone my health.

Technology- I know it's supposed to save time, but I'm allowing this to 'waste my time' by surfing the net when a question comes to mind, even if it's got nothing to do with what I was thinking about at the time, or just watching TV just because it's on.

Stuff- I've got way too much stuff, and I can't look after it as well as I should, which tells me that I probably don't need it, and stop accumulating more stuff to take care of.

Freedom to choose what I like to do in my work- I'm blessed with the role I have and sometimes it can be easy to spend more time on the things I enjoy doing, and at times neglecting the areas that I probably should spend more time in. This includes being able to delegate tasks, and making sure that I give the right support and encouragement to those carrying out that work. 

I'm sure more will come to mind- I just need to mull this over, ask the Holy Spirit to keep working on my heart and in my life so that some of these things can die in me, and more of Him and live in me. Amen!

Lord help me in these areas, and especially in spending more time with you. That you are at the centre of my life, and that from You, all things spring forth as they should. 

Do you know Daniel, was shown gradually as he was 'tested' time and time again, future prophecies that God asked him to store up in his heart and to document for the future? Daniel carried that privilege/ burden of knowing what- but not when. Daniel proved himself to be someone who God trusted, and who man trusted in. It was through his faithfulness, his integrity- that others knew the God of Daniel- always coming through for him, always with a word and truth that would bring life, for Daniel and for the people. 

Daniel's example was like that of Jesus himself. He loved God and his people. He wanted what God wanted. There were times of trial, but God knew, Daniels heart. Daniel, like Jesus- was just a man. Flesh. But he gave his life as a living sacrifice, in order that God's will be done. 

God help me to spend more time in your word. To do what you have called me to do. To recognise distractions and to know that in You, I can stand against the works of the enemy.

The works of the enemy can never stand against the Word of our God. Amen.

Imagination

God is moving in a powerful way. I’m excited and in awe of what He is doing. I just want to be a part of His great plan, and to help Him, serve Him and be used by Him. I know I’m so inadequate to do this on my own, and am grateful that I have Him and others in my life to best work for Him, and for His glory.

A little while ago, I mentioned in an earlier blog about imagination. God is wanting us to ‘image’ a nation. To use our imagination, the creativity that lies within each and every one of us, to create this image in our minds and hearts, a vision for the nation that He can see for mankind, for His kingdom. A nation united for His glory, for His purpose. A nation that bows down only to Him. A nation where He is king. Imagine… here’s what the dictionary says about the origin of this word…ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French imaginer, from Latin imaginare ‘form an image of, represent’ and imaginari ‘picture to oneself,’ both from imago, imagin- ‘image.’

I love that the word imagine comes from a picture of ‘oneself’- it not only means ourselves, it means ‘one-self’, that we will be of one accord, and who is self? It is of God Himself.

When we imagine, we go beyond what we can see, to places we’ve not yet been before. The time has come for us to imagine, for our imagination, our imaging of a nation- God’s imaging of this nation and all the nations- a picture of Himself: loving, trusting, gentle, forgiving, embracing, inclusive, righteous, faithful, truthful, merciful… I could go on. That is how great and mighty He wants us to imagine.

Last week I attended a seminar, where a speaker, Marcus Akuhata- Brown spoke in reference to the scripture, “Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions” Joel 2: 28. He was talking about as a young Maori man he had made a conscious decision to stay connected with his old people, to learn as much as he could from them. He shared how it came to him, that unless the old people are dreaming dreams- it will have an impact on the young people’s ability to have vision. Their vision will be impeded by limitations on the dreams, the imagination of those who are charged with holding onto the image of a nation they were to prepare for this generation, and the generations to come.

Lord let me always continue to grow in you, and to have that picture of who You are, what You have in Your heart for Your people, this nation, for the nations. I never want my heart to grow cold, to give up on the dreams that you’ve shown me. Help me Lord to use my imagination to see your kingdom come, your will be done here as it is in heaven. Lord, from glory to glory, let your might reign over this nation, over your people, amen.

Poems in the UK- No. 2

Here's another poem I wrote on our UK visit in 2003. As I said in my last post, Malcolm was so excited about the plane journey- and I wasn't. It turned out that I wasn't so bad- in fact I asked the Dr for advice and followed it faithfully. I got on the plane, ate my meal an hour later. Took an antihistamine tablet that made me drowsy. Fell asleep. Drooled and snored [much to the embarassment of Malcolm] and woke up about an hour before we landed in LA- our half way stop. Mal on the other hand, went into silent panic mode. He soon came to realise what cabin fever is, and that he actually was claustrophobic on those long haul flights. For the rest of that time in the UK, he had to learn to overcome this. I coped with making jokes about it, including teasing him about me sucking up all the air in elevators etc- mean aye! It turns out, it was just that trip, as the next UK one- he was fine. He now has learned that you just need to place your anxieties into God's hands, and to know what to expect and how to manage this when in that situation. From the whole thing, it made me more aware of how we breath, and how we take air for granted. Totally. It's there, and so vital- and we don't even think about it. But when we think we're not going to be able to have it, or have enough of it- it can send us into panic mode. Guess it's a bit like our relationship with God...hmmm....

Breathe

Air

Something we cannot see

Yet take for granted

That it is there

For us

We need it
Want it

Cannot be without it

It is the last thing we take in of this

Place we call home

Earth

When we can take no more

We can be no more

Air

Breathe

And be thankful for what it is

For  what it does

For who we are

Because of it

Everything we think we need

Our desires

What drives us

Is already

Is

Air

Poems in the UK

My daughter Aimee is off to the UK on Monday. One whole month- yikes, that is such a long time for such a long way away. I was thinking about the first time I went to London to visit my best childhood friend Kate. That was back in 2003. It was the furtherest I'd ever been- such an adventure. Malcolm was excited about the whole flight and travelling buzz. At the time, I was quite nervous about the whole long haul flight. I was also pretty wound up with life stress. I'd had several years watching friends go through cancer, trying to run a school that had undergone a number of large scale changes, and trying to make sense of my life as a wife, mother, lead educator, and my walk with God. The week before I left to go to London, I visited a Mountain View School in Mangere. They'd won the Goodman Fielder School of the Year Award for their environment and their school philosophy/ practices. Walking around the school that afternoon and taking in all the colours, gardens, trees and just the whole environment was actually soothing to my soul. That day, I left and it was like someone had lifted the lids of my eyes, wiped the lenses- it was like I was looking at the world with fresh eyes. Every tree, cloud, every natural thing in sight just seemed so much more brighter in colour. It was the beginning of coming out of a time of great stress, kind of like that Bette Midler song: The Rose..."Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow. Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring, becomes the rose".
I wrote this poem in London. It's kind of a play on the whole 'not being able to see the wood for the trees'- when you are so in the thick of it, that you just don't always get perspective on things.

I saw the wood

I saw the would

I stepped back and stopped for a bit

And there it was

Senses

They had been turned off to it

Desensitised

They say it happens

Becoming clinical

Safety zone

Emergency shut off

Keep back from the barrier

Only it took

Taking down the barrier

And keeping back

To reveal 

The would

I saw the wood

I saw the would

I stepped back and stopped for a bit

And there it was

Stop

Rest

Where do you go from what you said

You would?

Foresting around for answers

Undergrowth

Patient quiet earth

Reveals all in time

Sky is blue

Ground is soft

All is well with the world

Stop, step back for a bit

And there it is.

My prayer is that Aimee has a great time, and that God will continue to reveal to her His plans for her life in the next little while. It's a great blessing to be able to leave the world you know behind, and to look back, to reflect on what that world looks like, how you look like in it, and how it [and you] might look differently/ better in the future. Lord look after my little girl. Amen

Survey copied from another blog...

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? 
Oh my gosh- can you explain that to my husband! We're not supposed to have anymore thanks to the handy op a few years back- yikes! 

Do you trust all of your friends? 
I don't think you can trust anyone- we're all flawed, but I think you can act in a trusting way towards one another- so you can trust in your relationship- knowing that there's never going to be absolute perfect trust. You can only trust in God totally!

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? 
Yes.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 
Yes- according to His purpose.

Can you make a dollar in change right now? 
If I looked under cushions, down the side of the couch, etc. Most probably.

Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? 
Kate- she loves blood and gore. She'd have the stomach for all that kind of thing. About her bedside manner- well....hmmm

Are you afraid of falling in love? 
I'd be afraid of never falling in love- thankfully that never happened. I fall in love everyday with my husband.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? 
Sometimes I've had thoughts about a person and then somehow something happens to them and I realise I'd actually thought about them at that time.

Whats your most favorite scar? 
The one on my foot where I sneaked a turn of my sisters rollerskate [just the one] that she found at the dump. It had one wheel missing, and as I was rolling about the driveway, it tore into my foot- ouch. Remember strapping up my foot and not telling anyone about the gash, as she'd have nagged me for using her stuff without her permission.

When was the last time you flew in a plane? 
In January- flew to Brisbane with the family. 

What did the last text message you sent say? 
Sent a pxt message to my husband- a cute picture saying Do you love me? He sent one back- yes I do:)

What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? 
Smile, sense of humour.

What features do you find least attractive in the preferred sex? 
People that go on about themselves. Grumpy people- aahhh!

Fill in the blank. I love: 
God, Malcolm my husband, my children, my family and friends, travelling, trying something new, spending time by myself, writing, reading, my work, life!

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? 
To continue to learn to surf

If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call? 
My husband and children. I'd also call the nurse to bring me some food.

How many kids do you want to have? 
I have 3- so I have to say 3 right! But seriously, even though I didn't want any originally- I wouldn't change a thing- I'm totally blessed!
Would you make a good parent? 
I hope so. You'd have to ask my kids.
Where was your default picture taken? 
At my youngest daughters prizegiving.

Honestly, whats on your mind right now? 
Nothing much- just that it is so blinkin cold right now. Snowed today in Auckland for the first time in 40 years.

If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? 
To have been a stay at home mother to my kids when they were little.

What are you wearing right now? 
Black jeans, black jumper, natural coloured cardigan, leopard print scarf. Slippers!

Favorite animal? 
Have no preference- just hate, hate rodents.

Have you had the chicken pox? 
Yes- still have a scar on my forehead from when I had them as a kid.

Have you had a sore throat? 
Yep.


Ever had a bar fight? 
No

Who knows you the best? 
Malcolm my husband, and a couple of good friends. Probably my kids know me well too.

Ever been in a fight with your pet? 
No
Been to Mexico? 
No

Did you buy something today? 
3 mince pies and a bottle of coke

Did you get sick today? 
Yes- I've got a sore back

Do you miss someone today? 
Yes- my husband when I was at work.
Do you have a fight with someone today? 
No

When is the last time you had a massage? 
Last night my daughter massaged my foot.

Last person to lay in your bed? 
My husband- he's probably still there huddled up in the blankets... brrrrrrr...

Last person to see you cry? 
Anyone at church yesterday.


Who made you cry? 
Having someone sharing about their Nana who just passed away.

What was the last TV show you watched? 
My kitchen rules

What are your plans for the weekend? 
A baby shower and then farewell dinner.
Who was the last person you hung out with? 
Merete Murphy

If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say? 
Sure- can you give me a few months to lose weight so I can fit a nice dress.