Mighty Men of Valour...

Found this too...I can't sleep so am going through some of my personal stuff saved on my computer. It's great to look back sometimes and see just how far you've come in your walk with the Lord, and to think there's so much more He has in stored for us. How cool is that?!

Mighty Men of Valour

Mighty men are prepared for war and numbered.

God assigns a number to His ‘mighty men of valour’.

When God assigns a number to His mighty men of valour, as always there is more to this than meets the eye. God in His wisdom is doing a number of things…

He is a God of order.  In numbering His men, he is showing that He has a purpose and a plan, and he is bringing together this plan even as we speak.

God is ‘assigning’ his men a number- he is giving them an assignment- both individually and collectively as a unit of force. There is great expectation in this assignment, because each member is needed. God would not just give a number haphazardly or accidentally. He would not assign say, ‘1, 2, 3, 4’ and then count ‘1, 2, ..4’, and say, ‘Oh well 3 isn’t here so we will go on- God never gives up on those who He has chosen. God would expect that the troops would rally around and ensure that each one is there at roll call- or in other words- when needed or expected.

When God assigns a number, He is really saying- you are important, you are unique, you have a place in the ‘order’ of things.

God is gathering His troops. Just as in the ‘physical army’, when you are assigned your number, it is that number that identifies you in that organisation. From then on, in your training and development thereafter, your achievement (or testimony) relates back to your ‘identity’, your number- it is very much like Paul, once known as Saul- whose ‘identity’ changed when he was given a new ‘assignment’ (or life’s purpose- God’s purpose- to build His kingdom). In gathering His troops, God has assigned you a number. You are in His army, and you will identify with that number, and the assignment that comes with that calling on your life.

 Even though God can count to infinity, and we would probably run out of breath if we tried, God knows each ‘numbered’ man intimately. He loves each one and seeks to have a personal relationship with each member. In this way, as each one is strengthened, this too strengthens the body, His army. Make your number count.

God works in numbers and with numbers, and so too must the body of Christ- not as lone soldiers. The battle will never be won that way.

Lastly- God needs His men to be numbered. If they weren’t, who then could he ‘count on’ to fight the battle?

Letting go

Found this poem I wrote about 5 years ago... 

Letting go

When will it all end

This holding on so tight

To what I think I know

And how I think it should go

When will it all end

That I should serve myself

Put all that on the shelf

And let it go

Will I not surrender

To the Father’s will

To what He wants for me

To know that it’s His plan

Will I not submit

To His authority

To know Him intimately

And love Him, as He loves me

When will I realise

That He is in control

The answers are all there for me

In Him

He loves me and has purposed me

To be just who I am

Just perfect little me

Perfected in His image, for His glory

When will I let go

Releasing my tight grip

And falling into His arms

Ready to capture and receive all He has for me

It’s not about me, it’s about Him

It’s all about you Father

When I let go of me,

There you are.

I love you.

I will never be too cool for you...

This morning at church, missionaries our church supports, Alan & Linda Stephenson, visited us and shared the work they are doing in Tanzania. Very inspirational. They spoke about being a fool for Christ, and encouraged us to consider 'Who's fool are you?' They spoke about being a fool for christ, so that you can then be 'full of Christ'. Being a fool for Christ is about dying to yourself, so that Christ might live in you as fully as He can, without you getting in the way. Being a fool, and submitting to His will and His ways that are higher than yours. It inspired me to write this for Him...

Who are you a fool for?

I want to be a fool for you God

To know that no matter what

When I trip and stumble falling flat on my face

When everyone else is laughing and teasing

And when the world is telling me

Stay down, you don’t deserve to get up

You Lord will be there,

You’ll lift me up, dust me off

You’ll say, no child of mine is a fool in my sight

Though you may stumble

Though you may fall

I can see that your heart was right with me

You didn’t care that in running to me

As hard as you might

As long as it took

As foolish as you felt, when they said

Who are you to think you can make it?

That you are deserving of His love?

You see, what they fail to realise

Is that, because you have prepared to put it all on the line

To go the distance

To run the race that I have set for you

I will honour that

I will come to you

It is I, Yes, it is I

Who is the victor

I will come and live in you

In me, you will be victorious

My glory lives, so that one day you will see it

You will know, that as foolish as you may have felt

All wisdom and knowledge and the fullness of Christ

Will be a crown for you

Don’t get caught up in wanting to be right all the time

Let go and know that I Am

Where you aren’t- I Am

Where you aren’t clever- I Am

Where you aren’t confident- I Am

Where you aren’t brave- I Am

Where you aren’t enough- I Am

Thank you Lord for all that I am not, and for all that you are: I Am

Your loving foolish daughter Sonia xxx

Forgiveness

God is amazing. I know, I probably say that alot, but it's true. God, you are AMAZING. I just like the way you operate God. You're so clever and how you weave everything together. Just as the scripture says, ...and all things work together for good, for those who love the Lord, for those who are called according to His purpose... In the past couple of weeks, I've been talking to God about someone who has caused me alot of grief. That person has been very vindictive and manipulative behind the scenes. As much as I wanted to just hand it all over to God, and move forward, and as much as I had prayed and talked to Him about it- there was just this growing feeling of animosity towards this person. Like a sign I had read on a Facebook page somewhere, the person I was holding a grudge against, was renting my headspace for free! Anyway, during my fasting, I spent a bit more time prayer walking in the mornings, and talking to God about things, including this person. I was saying, "God, I just don't want to feel like this towards that person. I know it's not good and it's not how you would expect me to be. God, will you just show me how to love them, like you love me". For a few months now, I've had to endure this person's company. To keep myself 'safe' and sane, I distanced myself [in my mind, if not physically]. I kept my conversations to a minimum and chose topics like how the weather was, etc just so I wouldn't have to end up getting too deep and meaningful and allowing myself to be vulnerable to any further potential attacks.
Anyway, last week I had the opportunity to talk to this person in a formal capacity, and I knew that I couldn't just default to small talk. I had to talk about the big stuff, the things that really matter. Going into that meeting, I prepared myself in prayer. I told God, "I need you to go before me Lord. Help me and have your way in that situation". Just before the meeting, I decided- I'm just going to keep it about the agenda- nothing emotional, just stick to what we are there for. Keep my emotions in check and don't allow this to cloud what might turn out to be a positive experience. Well- initially I could sense the unease we both felt, but then something happened- God showed up. His Holy Spirit was right there watching over us, smoothing out stuff. He allowed a breaking of the tension, so that we were both able to talk about what had been happening between us. He allowed me to listen better and to be reminded that most/ usually all of the time, people's issues really are their own, and they just project them onto others. In that meeting, we were both able to acknowledge that we could have done things better and that we would learn from this and look to moving forward. It ended by me praying for us both, and praying specifically for them.
This person had had a revelation of what God was showing them, and for them, it was a new season of change. This includes the potential for them to relocate to a new situation. As I was sharing this information with Malcolm last night, I was telling him how happy I was for them. "You're only happy because it means you can finally see the back of them" he said. I told him, that actually, even though there is a part of me in the natural that feels a little like this because of our history- I genuinely feel happy for THEM. As I thought about this, I was just so AMAZED at how much God loved me. God reminded me that when you truly love someone, you only ever want what is best for them [not yourself], even if it means that you don't get your own way. I don't know how many times I've talked about this with my girls growing up. The true test of if someone truly loves you, is that they will want what is best for you.
I knew in that moment of realising this, that God had answered my prayer. He had dealt with what was in my heart, that both He and I knew shouldn't be there. He had listened to what I had said, and He had healed my heart. He had reminded me, that He is patient in His love. He didn't force me to forgive this person. He allowed me the pain of carrying that unforgiveness, so that I would know, this is not His plan for my life, and that if I am to walk on with Him, I too must love and forgive others, as He has loved and forgiven me.
Thank you Lord that what comes to try and harden my heart- your love melts that away. You soften-not harden hearts. Soft hearts can take the knocks and pressure, they are strengthened by these. Hard hearts under the same pressure, are easier to break.
Lord thank you for a forgiving heart. Amen.

A week of Fasting...

So, it's been 7 days of fasting. To be honest, I've loved having no TV. No facebook. No technology usage that has been cluttering up my time, my thinking, my space. Today I was resting and just staring out the window. The rain was falling softly on the trees and garden outside my home. It was peaceful and serene. The word 'Noise' came to mind. I thought "Man, God, my life has just been this constant 'noise' of activity going on, around me and inside me". There's just been this silence in our home- a quietness, even when the girls are talking or laughing or arguing. It's just 'noiseless'. It made me think, God is wanting me to quieten down, the noise of my life, that is competing for His small quiet voice. When God speaks to me and with me, He doesn't want to compete for my attention. He doesn't want me to be confused by all that is going on, and to not know clearly that it is Him, and what He is saying for my life.

Something I have loved about this fast that we are doing together is the time that we are having as a family each night- a time of devotion. It has helped to have a shared purpose to come together to talk about and to pray for. What has amazed me is just how much my children have grown in the Lord. Thank you God for their growth and maturity in the things of you, and in their relationship with you. Thank you again for calling them unto yourself. It's been so nice to hear Rosie's prayers and how much she loves and knows you, and that Aimee and Olivia are great examples of Godly young women for their younger sister. Their Dad and I are blown away by them.

This past week God's been speaking to me about the 'bread of idleness'. When I heard this, I was convicted of just how idle I had become. If I were to be a fly on the wall of my lounge, I'd see me there most evenings in front of the TV, laptop on, switching between facebook and my work and personal technology usage. I'm ashamed to admit that, as I used to whizz around my house making sure everything was done, trying to ensure that our family was a bit more organised than it is now. I guess too as my girls got older and they had their own laptops, etc- our lives have evolved to this. 

When God spoke to me about the 'bread of idleness'- I was thinking of the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31, where it says: "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat of the bread of idleness" Prov 31: 27. I was thinking, the Holy Spirit is convicting me of being lazy. There's probably, no, there is some truth to that. However, as I started to meditate on this 'bread' of idleness, the Lord showed me that when He refers to 'bread' He's talking about 'words' and in reference to His word. He showed me all the 'worldy words' that I'm overindulging in, that are taking me away from spending time with Him and in His word. God showed me that these words, i.e. conversations on facebook, talking on the phone, reading magazines and newspapers too much, TV, internet surfing... all these words do not bring life- they are void and have no value. If they do not bring life, they are lifeless, and can be likened to death itself. God 

has been encouraging me to 'partake in the bread of life'. He has told me, "less reading to listening to words that do not bring life", so I know I need to have more listening and reading of His words that will bring me life, as He meant it to be.

Thanks Lord for this reminder and for your correction in this area of my life.

Today's reading in our 'Breakthrough' fasting booklet was from Isaiah 58:6. God showed me that it's broken into three parts. 

God chooses this kind of fast...

1. Breaking free- those trapped by wickedness, taking away the heaviness of life's stresses, freeing those life's been hard to, breaking the hold that's been placed on people;

Then He tells us what to do...

2. Feed those who hunger, bring those less fortunate into your homes, clothe those who need it, and go and be with people- fellowship;

Then He tells us to watch [what will happen]...

3. God's light will shine everywhere, big time, we'll be healed and well, our good ways will go before us [preparation], and He'll reward us with His glory- it will be ours

God encouraged me to share at our family devotion tonight that He is more interested, not in what we are fasting from, but in what we are fasting for. It was a good reminder for all of us to continue to press into God, knowing that He has purposed this time, a time of preparation of our hearts, to get over ourselves, and to overcome the tendency to put us at the centre of our lives- and to turn back to Him, to prepare a place where He can take authority and His rightful place.

In verse 9, God then goes on to say..."Then [after you've realised the kind of fast I would choose for you], you shall call and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am'" Isa 58:9. God's plan is for us to prepare our hearts by knowing what He wants for His people, doing as He has asked for His people, and then we will see Him in action both in our lives and the lives of His people. God's showing us a pattern: His Command...Our Obedience...His Blessing. 

Then after that- not before, God reminds us that when we call on Him, He'll answer us, He'll be there and He'll make known to us that, 'Yes' it is Him. And why then? Because, when our hearts have been changed to the beat of His heart, our cries and our requests will be as His cry, His request, His will.

God change my heart. Circumcise the things in my heart that stop it from beating to your heart beat. Show me how to love your people as you have loved me. Love ya heaps God. xxx